10 reasons why Michael Bays Pathetic Adaption of Transformers is, well... Pathetic.

It's that time again folks.  I talk transformers, quite Geekily.

What they should look like.

You may have noticed that the new Bayformers film was recently released (sorry this comes late, I refuse to sit in the cinema with a bunch of noisy T**Ts),  The films are terrible, a mockery of the G1 (Generation 1) series loved by many over the world. (OK, the first one as a film was alright but still all wrong).  I could of gone on all day about how rubbish these films are but heres the top ten points, in no particular order.  This may contain spoilers for all 3 films so when one is due I will mark with a (*), I will try and stay spoiler free as much as possible.  Anyway, Begin.  These are in no particular order.




- No Cybertron

Planet Cybertron from the G1 Series

Cybertron, for those not in the know is the home planet of the transformers (*) and in the first film when it was announced that it was in a wreck was disheartening. (*)  Michael Bay being his usual lazy self and not taking it to Cybertron, it would of made a much more interesting backdrop and there wouldn't of been as much human involvement which is not what the films are about, right?


Anyone who has played War for Cybertron would know one of the best thing about that game is that it takes place on Cybertron and there are NO humans at all.


- Bad Comedy


The Jokes are that bad sometimes they are good, Shia LeBouf is OK in the first film.  But in the second film it wears off, fast and he's just an idiot, and the parents (oh god the parents) are just ridiculous another two characters NOT needed in these films.


- The Transformers are Idiots


The main transformers (Optimus Prime, Iron Hide, Megatron etc.) are reasonable but the stupid ones like Skids and Mudflap in Revenge of the Fallen and the Little ones in Revenge of the Fallen and the other one is introduced in Dark of the Moon, I'm pretty sure one of them is supposed to be Wheelie and LasorBeak of the decepticons who by the way DOES NOT TALK!! these are the transformers that really wind me up.  They are apparently a comedy factor (not so much LasorBeak) (*) and the fact that the robots are perverts is a bit wrong. 

Wheelie in Revenge of the Fallen

They don't talk like robots as well they talk with an accent Australian and a southern USA accent is another mockery.


- Megan Fox / Rosie Huntington-Whitley


I'll admit I don't mind looking at these two as they are both attractive women.  However they are nothing more than eyecandy in these 3 films.

Megan Fox (Left) and Rosie Huntington-Whitley (Right)

Fox is more of an eye candy piece that Whitley simply because Whitley's character (*) is more involved in the plot of the movie being kidnapped and everything whereas Fox is just 'Oh come with me quick!' and thats that (*) a complete waste of time.  Both of them cannot act.


- All Explosion (Suprise Suprise) No Plot


Say what you want about Transformers, it deserves more than just BANG, BLAST and BOOM!!


The All Spark is the worst name for anything I have ever heard of.  I think that the fact he's making a propaganda American Film (especially the third one) about a Japanese toy is absolutley ridiculous and he should probably stop making films all together, you'll understand what I mean when you see it.


The beef thats between the two sides of robots is epic amongst themselves someone with a bit more of a nerdy aspect to them might of pulled it off, however Bay just went I know explosions!! and your away as South Park so crudely put it.

- Too much about Humans, Not Much About The Transformers

Shia LeBeouf as Sam Witwicky

Another massive problem as to why these films are garbage is the fact that the plot too much based around how awesome America is (*) ranging from putting a camera on Mars in the first film all the way to Sentinel Prime crashing on the moon in the third one and the fact that The Transformers made the Pyramids and caused the disaster at Chernobyl. (*)

Epps (left) and Lennox (right)

The Human Alliance (the group of soldiers that team up with the autobots) is a waste of time the Autobots should be in a crashed ship in a mountain in the middle of nowhere under no surveillance of any humans at all.  I understand that the difficulty in keeping the Autobots a secret from the government is probably impossible but you forget that there giant transforming robots.


- Transformer Redesigns


This is arguably my biggest problem with these films, the transformers look like badly put together kitchen utensils as opposed to indestructible robots from another planet.  I know this is only a small point but its a point nonetheless, Optimus Primes mouth guard in These films really annoys me, it should be constantly closed.    

A few Selected G1 Transformers

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Poster feat. Optimus, Bumblebee and Sam and Mikeala

Can you see the difference in the two pictures (above). When the test footage was released (below) I was extremely excited, when I saw the first trailer I was heartbroken the only Transformer I could recognise from childhood was the Mighty Optimus Prime (barely) and I sort of gathered the yellow car was Bumblebee everything else was a mess.  Because the robots look like kitchen utensils one Major problem with these films is in the action sequence it is a massive headache to figure out which robot is which robot.

- Where are the Dinobots? Unicron? etc.


"They've never been discussed (for inclusion)" Stated Bay "I don't like them. Actually, I hate them."

Dinobots from the G1 series

This is an actual quote Bay gave when he was asked about the Dinobots, which is pretty comical coming from a man who has changed it so much its balancing on a fine line of unforgivable status.  He puts WheelJack in the third film (FINALLY!!) and he ruins him, makes him look a little bit like Albert Einstein and giving him a name like Que, he's named after Q in James Bond because he's the Autobots sort of Scientist/Weapons Expert.

Que (WheelJack) in Dark of the Moon. For Those who don't know what WheelJack looks like he's 4 images up an the Autobot on the far right.

It is quite clear that Unicron needed to be in these films, but that would of cost quite a bit of cash to do, ya know something Bay doesn't like to do.  He's at least 100 times bigger than Optimus Prime and quite frankly just a beast.  He eats planets for godsake!

Unicron in planet mode from Transformers: The Movie

Aswell as these there are countless others that are ruined or just quite simply not in the Bay adaptions.  Mind you, if he did include them he probably would of ruined them.


- After the First Film Megatron feels like an Afterthought as Opposed to the Daddy he is


Bar Unicron and the odd Beast in the transformers Universe.  Megatron is the absolute baddest of the bad of the Decepticons, this is fact.  Then why after the first one did he introduce the fallen (a character which a lot of people had never heard of or cared about) and in the third one introduced Shockwave who was the sort of WheelJack type character of the Decepticons and (*) made Sentinel Prime defect a plot-line which was both bizarre and stupid, he's a 'prime' for god-sake! 


Anyway the main point of this is pretty simple, Megatron is badass plain and simple. 


-  Just get the Feeling that Michael Bay Just Doesn't Care


It's irrelevant whether or not it makes sense when watching these films you get the feeling that Bay doesn't care whether or not it makes sense or not, he will put in that extra 30 seconds of explosions just because he wants to.  There is only reference to G1 in the third film when (*) Megatron sits on the Lincoln memorial chair and when they try and bring Cybertron to Earth.(*)  


He will put in that stupid unfunny joke and give the robots that stupid slack-jawed accent and make them extremely idiotic even though they are supposed to be an intelligent extra terrestrial from outter space. 




In conclusion we either need a Reboot or we must never EVER speak of these films again, I imagine we need another director.  Someone who is more of a Geek or someone who actually cares about what they're doing instead of chucking aload of money at explosions.  Maybe somebody like Matthew Vaughan or Neil Blomkamp, if there are reboots Michael Bay can be involved but he can have absolutely no say whatsoever in what goes on.   


The plot needs to be better aswell so one of the original writers would be a welcome asset.  And the designs of the robots must be both recognisable and well.. Better.   And Peter Cullen HAS to be Optimus Prime.


You could say I'm being to hardcore G1 fan about all this, but I kind of liked the War for Cybertron (was above average) and Transformers Armada wasn't as bad a Bayformers.  Even Transformers: Prime had it's moments.


Well thats it folks, thanks for reading


WJ

Nando Costa

Just wanted to share the love with this guy today.  He is an inspiration a talented artist and film maker.

Nando Costa

He is a Brazilian Graphic Artist/Director living in Portland USA.  Some of his best work is a short vid for The Sapranos:

http://archive.nandocosta.com/  <<< Check it!!

Cheers

JT

Thor

When I first heard about this film I was a bit sceptical.  I mean a director I have never heard of (Kenneth Branagh) and a guy who was in 188 episodes of Home and Away as the God of Thunder, No Mortal Kombat fans its not Raiden.  Yes folks, I have finally watched Thor.

Thor (left) and Chris Hemsworth (right)

However since Heath Ledger's magnificent re-imagining of The Joker in The Dark Knight (I admit I thought he was gonna be shite), but was I proven wrong by Hemsworth.  Arrogant and foolish at the beginning and great character development throughout.  Natalie Portman also put in a great performamce with a great cast alongside.

Loki 'The God of Mischief' played by Tom Hiddleston put in a good performace, he was great I was a bit cautious about him from the very beginning.

Not a big reader of the Thor comics so not 100% on how well the story follows it.

Anyway the only jip I have with the film, is that I feel Asgard wasn't a kingdom where people live just a massive room with a King, Odin (Anthony Hopkins).  It would of been nice to see it as more of a place where people live as opposed to a room.

This film is worth a watch for any fan of Thor the comic and even films in general.  Marvels best film?  You could argue it and you would have a case, however a select few would turn around and say 'its no Iron Man 1'.  Just go and watch it if you haven't already.

It is a great follow up to The Avengers all thats left now is Captain America: The first Avenger, which I have my doubts about but I intend to keep an open mind.  I just can't take Chris Evans seriously.  

Thanks guys

'Wheel' Jack

The Evolution of the YouTube Beasts

Hey guys

Tonight is the night the underperforming (due to University deadlines and work etc.) evolved into Rapture Digital, this is because of copyright reasons.  The name was coined by Jam Luisis who just said it as we have just had the 'Rapture'.

The group is an indie studio which will publish there short films and videos via YouTube, the films will mainly be action orientated.

The members are Me, you all know me right?

Jam Luisis, a talented Designer with a great eye for films.

Andj Drewsky, The brother of Jam with a similar skill and passion about creativity.

Chris ('The idiot') Pearce, great attention to detail and uber passionate about movies.

And last but not least.  Mr. Shaun Haughton, you all know this guy he is an absolute legend and gets all the girls.

As time goes by I'm sure to get more helpers and friends.

Cheers

JT

Survival Sunday

If you were to tell me back in November that Everton were going to finish 7th, I would of told you where to go.  With a fantastic win over Chelsea with 10 men (mere hours after they announce the sacking of their manager) is immense.  I admit that I wasn't Jermaine Beckfords biggest fan when he first arrived at Goodison Park but he has come good scoring the only goal against Chelsea and definitely worth the £0 we paid for him from Leeds Utd. Anyway, enough about that, this match was useless today, we may as well of not played.  It's all about survival sunday.

Jermaine Beckford

This season in the premier league was stupidly close with 5 teams Blackburn, Blackpool, Wigan Athletic, Wolverhampton Wanderers and Birmingham all on either 39 or 40 points.

I feel sorry for Blackpool, the underdogs.  Storming into a 2-1 lead at Old Trafford you thought maybe? Just maybe they might be able to pull this off but you know what Manchester United are like.  Always chasing and one of the hardest working teams in Europe came back to win 4-2.  Unreal.

Birmingham on the other hand lost 2-1 to Spurs, nothing against Birmingham but Spurs were clearly the better team, and Gomes actually made some saves (you know, as usual?).  Which saw them relegated to the dark and gloomy pits of the Championship where the 'Proper' footy fans live and die for their team.

Wigan had a tough trip to the Britannia Stadium to take on the ruthless Potters.  After a couple of Days bickering on facebook via an unofficial Wigan Athletic FC page (which was hilarious by the way) this game had slobber-knocker written all over it, thats where the awesome Hugo Rodellega comes in, after 78 minutes and one hell of a fight and having to withstand tremendous pressure he scores and Wigan go on to beat Stoke away 1-0.

Hugo Rodellega after scoring against Stoke

But its the other teams Blackburn and Wolverhampton Wanderers who played each other at the Molineux Stadium Blackburn were 3-0 up at half time it wasn't looking good for Wolves however thanks to O'Hara and Stephen Hunt (Bon Scott) it was 3-2 and that was enough to keep Wolves in the Premier League.  At least for another season anyway.

So thats it for 10 weeks boys and girls, ladies can have the tele back on a saturday now while the boys.  Well, we'll just have to find something to do.

Cheers

JT

Rapture 2011

Let me get this straight.

At 6pm today, earthquakes would happen all across the globe and destroying everything and then 6 months later (october 21st 2011) the world would end?

Nothing against 'the Church' or anything but really?  And don't even get me started on all the birds falling out of the sky business.  HorseSh*t.

So we survived a nuclear holocaust we were supposed to have during the Cold War, two (yeah, two) definate, total wipeout asteroid collisions we were supposed to have during the 1990's and the Millenium Bug.  Plus countless others.  I don't know about you guys but I'm feeling pretty confident about 2012.

Cheers

JT

Grandia

After giving up with Assassins Creed II (it's a good game.  I just couldn't care less about it), I ditch it for this classic I purchased on the PSN last year. Unable to give it a play because I get addicted to RPG's thus I know for a fact no Uni work was ever going to get done, this is the same reason I am yet to buy Pokemon Black or White.

UK Box Art

I'm barely 3 hours into it and I've already got a case of nostalgia.  The good thing is my PSone disc broke barely half way through the first disc and couldn't get round to replacing it until I bought it (for a cheap £7.99) off the infamous Playstation Network.

The game is a JRPG, probably the best JRPG you haven't played.... Yet.

The graphics looked slightly childlike and fit well with the game, however they look trash now.  Do not be put off by the graphics!

With likeable characters, awesome locations and challenging dungeons it's a game any adventure/RPG fan MUST play. Period.  It was the first RPG I can remember to feature half voiced over characters and it also featured innuendo's.

The games main protagonist, Justin (box art, centred).  A young boy from the town of Parm who's dream it is to one day to be the worlds greatest adventurer, he lives at home with his mother Lilly and his father vanished years ago on an adventure.  Joined with his lifelong friend Sue (box art, left) who is practically Justin's none related sister, who is the character in the RPG genre I like to call the healer and Feena, a seasoned adventurer and Justin's idol.  The games main villains are General Baal and the Garlyle forces.  And the rest you'll have to find out for yourself, I ain't no spoiler.

The game revolves around the mythical Angelou Civilisation and the fact if its real or not.

The gameplay is very pre Final Fantasy 12.  Ya know, before Final Fantasy got garbage, and in my opinion still rivals it up until this very day.  There are no random battles i.e the maps are full of animated little pests, which to be honest don't cause much of a problem, I mean, I may only be 3 hours in but I have yet to die. (I've jinxed myself now, I'll play it next and die straight away).  The cool thing about the battle system is the combo moves which can be just as powerful as some of the special moves plus its so easy to know what your characters are doing *cough* FF12 *cough*.

But with all that said, Grandia II was a let down, Grandia III wasn't released outside of Japan, Grandia Xtreme was never released in EU and Grandia Online has been in BETA for like 2 years.  What happened Game Arts?

Anyway play this game!!

Thanks

JT







Grandia PSone opening FMV




 

3 Rings...

After all that bitching about Sony, Its Microsoft's turn.

So, I was their, chillin just about to play a few rounds of the Gears3Beta when my screen starts to go fuzzy.  Me being totally oblivious to the idea that something is majorly wrong I turn off my XBOX wait a few seconds and then turn it back on again.  I did this a few times and it kept happening.

Getting bored (and a tad frustrated) by the fact my screen won't stop fuzzin' I resort to google.  After skimming few a few comments and answers which were based on the newer model of the 360 I come across this guy, who said something like 'its early signs of a system failure and could get serious, make sure theres no dust in the vents blahh blahhh blahhh...'

So I turn off my XBOX (again...) and start to make sure theres no dust on or in the vents and adapter wholes etc.  When I turn my XBOX back on BANG!!! red ring of death, I mean seriously?  My Xbox goes about 4 years without anything going wrong and about half way through the Gears3beta this happens.  Not happy.

I know I'm late on the bandwagon with this one but what the hell, are Microsoft stupid? they'd have to be to make Windows but lets not go into that now, maybe a future post.  Now I have to mess about on the phone telling them what happens and if they'll fix it (which is doubtful).  However they will compensate me in some way I assure you.

Anyway I got hand ins to deal with.
See ya soon
JT

GOW3BETA

And finally it is upon us.

Sorry for jumping on the bandwagon late on this one its just OMG, this is actually happening.  I've been busy playing it to write this.... until now.

For those of you that are either anti-XBOX/Microsoft or just been living under a rock for the past couple of months, the Gears of War 3 BETA went live on 18/04/2011 for Bulletstorm Epic Edition holders and 25/04/2011 for people who pre-ordered the game via Game or Gamestation.

In a word, WOW.  And I don't mean the overly excessive MMO game I mean OMG.  If the 'actual' game (released 20/09/2011) is as good as this BETA, I am a happy man.  Theres new weapons in the name of the retro lancer (like the other lancer except a big blade instead of a chain saw, also the execution requirea a run up.  Sawed-off Shotgun/Double-Barrelled Shotgun (DBS), Digger Launcher, incendiary grenades and the Oneshot.  Plus there is 4 maps available to play: Thrashball, Checkouts, Trenches and Old Town.  And 3 gamemodes to play at the time of writing which include Team Death Match (TDM), King of the Hill and Capture the Leader (CTL) which are all very good.

My favourite is Checkouts, its not too big and the weapons are split out evenly you have the Mulcher, Digger/Longshot and the Gorgon pistols and grenades.  Its set in a rundown supermarket which is a nice touch, nice to see Epic are thinking about this now. Other than having rundown factories etc.  I feel this is to Gears3 what Gridlock was to Gears.

Thrashball is an interesting map, its set in a Thrashball stadium (for those that don't knowThrashball is Sera's NFL, a character in the game 'Augustus Cole' used to be a Thrashball player) because it features a scoreboard (which actually works!) but the thing about this scoreboard is that after 90 seconds or so, it becomes loose from its grip and a well placed shot will send it crashing to the floor crushing everything/everyone in its path.  The Torque Bow/Digger Launcher is placed directly under it, The player can freely go into a part of the crowd and theres a tunnel on the other side with grenades.

Trenches is a Locust themed map which is run of the mill Gears of War style map.  Theres a Oneshot directly at the top of a hill, a mortar to counter the oneshot and a digger launcher/Scorcher (flamethrower) in the middle, again hats off to epic for a well balanced map here.  A nice touch is a foghorn type noise sounds a part way through the round and dust fills the area making it difficult to see, especially with the OneShot.  Theres ya healthy dose of nades near the spawn, which you can lob over to the OneShot.

Old Town is the last map and its a damn fine one, Epic have done well here, AGAIN its a well balanced map with your Torque Bow/Longshot on one side and your BOOMshot on another, the BOOMshot is a powerful grenade launcher, theres also Smoke grenades up for grabs.  And did I mention theres two scorchers?  Out of all the maps in this game this one can get out of hand.   With all the powerful weapons going down its hard to see why it won't.

Now for the weapons.

The sawed-off shotgun is basically an easy way in for beginners or those who find the gnasher shotgun too difficult to control, I mean its easier by saying of you stand within a couple of feet of multiple enemies.  There dead.  No questions asked just blood splatters on the floor, however to obtain such awesome power your reload speed is sacrificed, drastically.  Your reload time with the sawed-off is easily 4 or 5 seconds (even with an active reload) slower than the gnasher shotgun, so its just a case of speedy reloads over power.

The Digger launcher is my favourite of the new weapons, this jumps in the same class as the torque bow and Longshot (sniper rifle).  The Digger Launcher fires a creature type thing which digs through the ground and pops up and explodes when it hits a target, which is great for blasting an enemy in cover without the fear of them blasting you with a shotgun.

And finally the latest edition to the Heavy weapons.  The Oneshot, this is basically a sniper rifle that kills you in OneShot, see what they did there?  although it is a heavy weapon and a pain in the arse to lug around and it is also quite difficult to get your target.  This weapon is brutal.  Perfectly placed on the map trenches atop of the hill for all to see, however this does leave you exposed.

The games modes are all different that you'll probably not get fed up of the BETA until it finishes on May 15th.  The games modes are simple.  TDM is basically Warzone with more lives, each team has 15 live and then after these have ran out each player has 1 life.  Simple.  This is my favourite mode because it just becomes pure massacre and plus Warzone was my favourite up until now.

King of the Hill is basically Capture the Flag, its the first to 170 points (seconds).  Each team must capture an area of the map, each area is worth approx. 75ish points, for each second you hold off an area you earn a point, and so on...  This game-mode is more tactical than TDM simply because its all about infiltration and you have to think about your approach more than just running around with the gnasher.  This game-mode can get a bit out of hand but its still great fun, when people are guarding and looking the wrong way and you sneak up behind them with good old mr shotgun, or the fantastic retro lancer execution.

The final game mode is Capture the Leader (CTL), in this game-mode each team is given a leader.  Locust Queen (Myrrah) for the Locust and Chairman Richard Prescott for the COG.  The goal is simple, Down the enemy Leader and Meatshield them for 30 uninterrupted seconds.  Arguably the most tactical of the Modes.  I am not very good at this one.  I am a Rambo Gears player i.e Run and Gun with the Gnasher, thats what I do best, however with that said I can be sly with the Longshot etc.

The Gears3Beta consists of many hidden prizes including:
Gnasher, sawed-off, Lancer and hammerburst with flaming skins: complete one match in week 1,2,3 and 4 of the BETA.
Cole in his Thrashball uniform: complete 50 matches and then 10 matches as him.
Golden retro Lancer: 90 matches then 100 kills with the skin.

There are more goodies than that up for grabs but these are the eyecathers ( I have them all ;)).

So in conclusion, its Gears.  Whether thats a good thing for you, or a bad thing? who knows.  It has alot of new gameplay mechanics that are just tiptop, like when you have an enemy for a meatshield, the ability to be able to grenade tag them and boot them into a load of enemies is genius, plus as soon as you play it you'll start to think, yeah.  This is just what Gears of War needed.  And not to sound like a pessimist, I would have to say this is what Gears of War 2 should of been.  No offense to Gears2 I like the game and everything just, to me it made all the wrong decisions by making the game 15% slower which to me didn't work and when the servers were knackered pretty much the day of release, I'd lost all hope.  Gears of War was a peach and this is the sequel it deserves, multiplayer wise any.
The new gameplay modes  All I can say is, BRING ON THE RETAIL RELEASE!!
This is the sorta thing that gets you ready for a the Campaign.

Thanks for reading
JT

P.S  My XBL gamertag is WheelJack88 if anyone fancies a few rounds.

PSN (EPIC) Fail!

So...

The Jack Taylor: General Interests Blog will focus on my general interests, which will mainly be about Design, Film, Football and Video Games.  Starting will the latter.

Being a trusty PS3 owner and being a frantic user of sites such as Play.com, Amazon, eBay, iTunes etc. You really don't here about something massive like this, its quite scary actually.

Sony confirm yesterday/today that the PSN has been hacked and somebody has unauthorised access to the personal information of over 3 million users (in the UK alone).  Which is everything from username all the way to credit card/debit card details.

Are they serious?

The PSN is in its 8th day of darkness and Sony decide to just drop 3 lines in a blog that nobody reads!!
all I can say is thank god for IGN.  You've probably still got the casual of casualist gamers are still messin about with their router thinkin its their internet connection at home. I mean sort it out Sony this is 100% unacceptable.  Their should of been a global announcement at the sign of trouble!!
We as consumers will probably have to change the passwords to our e-mails and online accounts for social websites and online stores. Oh and probably have to cancel our credit cards (which could give us a bad credit rating) and change our debit cards which is a massive pain.

As a consumer I feel, Sh@t on and misused.  Just want to say to the fellow PS3 owners this is NOT OK!! do not give Sony the easy way out of this one, make them feel the hard way.

Thanks
JT

P.S http://bit.ly/hmuKO8
IGN talk about how to stay safe.